The Princess has long felt that way. Bonnie Gray in Finding Spiritual Whitespace, says it this way:
" I've carried this uneasy suspicion that I was nothing special and everyone would probably know it if I ever stopped doing and was just plain old me." (p65)
The Princess doesn't believe that 'plain old me' is good enough, she desperately wants to be special. She thought that being a bride would cure that - it didn't. She thought that getting pregnant would cure that - it didn't. Sometimes she wonders if she was really ill, like with cancer or something equally terrible then she would be special.
That last if is the one that made her realise that her thinking might be flawed somewhere. Does she really have a death wish to be special?
What does 'special' really mean to the Princess if she wants it that much?!
It means:
- having someone's attention,
- being listened to,
- having her needs anticipated or at least considered.
- someone thinking she is lovely,
- someone wanting to spend lots of time with her.
- someone giving her gifts.
- someone giving her a compliment just to see her smile.
- someone telling her a joke just to make her laugh.
If your life is filled with people who do these things above, who think you are special - be thankful you are so fully blessed. They are not commonplace in the Princess's life. But it's funny, because "nothing special" is no longer just a judgmental whisper in her mind, it is also a song lyric. And the song is one of the Princess's favourites and it lifts her spirits. Because there is an antidote to "nothing special", and it is found in the Abba song: Thank You For The Music.
She starts singing that she's "nothing special" and then the magical word appears "but" - she might be nothing special, she might not be able to tell a joke, but she "has a talent, a wonderful thing". And her talent of singing and dancing was recognised very early in her life by her mother, then presumably encouraged and celebrated. She also acknowledges that she is lucky in terms of her physical appearance "I'm the girl with golden hair".
It can be so easy to just be jealous of someone like Agnetha Faltskog and dismiss ourselves as forever talentless and without any outstanding features. But is that really true? Or is it just that we've never be given the chance to figure out how we are special. What is the Princess's talent? What can she do that brings her joy?
Is it true for us, like Bonnie:
"Nothing special was the voice of the little girl in me. Waiting to be loved and seen." (p66)
Will you stop and listen to the little-girl-you today?
What did you love as a very young child?
What did she dream of?
Even if she was discouraged by people then, how can you encourage her today?
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