Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Snow Days

Over the summer and autumn months it has been quite common to find Princess Morag quite despondent about her daily life.  Being a MOP (Mother of Preschooler) is always challenging, but she finds her mental and emotional resources drained rather than stimulated.  The thought of being stuck in the house for days on end with  two demanding small people would normally strike fear into the heart of Princess Morag but after facing up to this predicament following large quantities of snowfall she has found that if she leans on her God, he is more than sufficient to rescue her!  

Princess Morag has found since being a full time mother that she is constantly being stretched to be more patient, to exercise more self-control and basically to bear all the fruits of the Holy Spirit all of the time.  This is obviously a bit tricky, made even more so by having zero time to do anything that might involve peace and quiet and preferably privacy.  OK, so maybe not zero time, but very little time and if something has to give it is normally her sleep because like the inspiration for this blog, the only time Princess Morag's brain cells start to fire in patterns that might produce something intelligible for grown up people is when she is lying in bed trying to fall asleep.  The rest of the day her brain is singing children's television theme tunes or trying to prevent the next tantrum from occurring.  

So the snow forced Princess Morag to stay at home and she has been quite relieved that she no longer has to expend considerable energy in trying to get two toddlers ready to go out.  Normally two pairs of socks must be procured from the drawer (and the day of the week must be ascertained for Master Ryan's socks to be the right ones - it is not good when the sock of the correct day is in the laundry!), the children and the socks usually run away at this point so they must be chased down and encouraged to sit down until the socks are on the feet.  Repeat process with two pairs of shoes, and trying to clean two sets of teeth and then to put on two jackets and now that it is winter, gloves and hats as well!!!!!  So, Princess Morag was not sorry to lay to rest that little routine for a week or so!  

Life has been a more relaxed affair for the little family as they fill the short daylight hours with gentle activity until Sir Rianus returns from his labours in the workplace.  Time has passed quickly and although it may not appear that anything exciting has happened in these snow filled days, Princess Morag has felt her spirits lift when noticing the small mercies that God has sent her way - prayer answered and patience given.   

Thursday, April 29, 2010

love, discipline and confrontation

Parenthood is a challenge; currently it is a hard physical and emotional slog for Princess Morag but it is not too complicated:  feed them, clean them, make sure they sleep, and love them in every way possible.  Today, Princess Morag has reflected on how discipline is an important part of loving your children, as you want them to know right from wrong, and in the end be a good person able to relate to other people.  It is a personal challenge to know how to incorporate this into a parent and child relationship but neglecting to do so can only spell disaster.  Neither Princess Morag or Sir Rianus are confrontational, they dislike situations where there is conflict.  And generally the wee man and his maiden sister are similarly peace-loving, To be faced with children and parents who are not of the same ilk has happened a few times already and the Renfroana household may have to learn how to handle such situations.

Princess Morag went to the local indoor play area today with her two toddling children.  It is a great space for them to run and climb and generally use up some of the extraordinary amount of energy they have despite such early rises every morning!  It is theoretically a safe place as it is all made of padded material making falling down a painless experience.  But Princess Morag has been plagued by thoughts of a troubling interaction with a boisterous pre-schooler and his mother.  On first impressions, the boy simply seemed high spirited but then there was cry from the son of the Princess and circumstances implicated the boy.  While comforting her son, Princess Morag was surprised to be pushed by the boy and despite her brief remonstration, he later pushed and tried to kick her. Not keen to enter into a major confrontation with his mother, Princess Morag did try to indicate his inappropriate actions to her, but she was not terribly interested and did not make effort to make amends in any way.  Princess Morag was quite taken aback that a child should be so disrespectful of an adult, but presumably he had never been educated in the general principles of acceptable social behaviour.

Princess Morag predicts a poor outcome for this boy who was so obviously seeking adult attention in any way he could get it, and despite all attempts only provoked a weak response from his mother.  Does she think that it is someone else's job to discipline him?  Is it the job of teachers or social workers or the police or the courts; sadly all of the above will probably try to make amends for her neglect but it will probably be too late.  He needs her to love him enough to tell him no, and mean it.  Should Princess Morag have told her so?  Is anyone else going to?  Princess Morag prays that someone will.  Princess Morag learned in her working world about being assertive - this means approaching confrontations with calmness, kindness and respect - always easier said than done, but she'll work on it some more.