Thursday, April 29, 2010

love, discipline and confrontation

Parenthood is a challenge; currently it is a hard physical and emotional slog for Princess Morag but it is not too complicated:  feed them, clean them, make sure they sleep, and love them in every way possible.  Today, Princess Morag has reflected on how discipline is an important part of loving your children, as you want them to know right from wrong, and in the end be a good person able to relate to other people.  It is a personal challenge to know how to incorporate this into a parent and child relationship but neglecting to do so can only spell disaster.  Neither Princess Morag or Sir Rianus are confrontational, they dislike situations where there is conflict.  And generally the wee man and his maiden sister are similarly peace-loving, To be faced with children and parents who are not of the same ilk has happened a few times already and the Renfroana household may have to learn how to handle such situations.

Princess Morag went to the local indoor play area today with her two toddling children.  It is a great space for them to run and climb and generally use up some of the extraordinary amount of energy they have despite such early rises every morning!  It is theoretically a safe place as it is all made of padded material making falling down a painless experience.  But Princess Morag has been plagued by thoughts of a troubling interaction with a boisterous pre-schooler and his mother.  On first impressions, the boy simply seemed high spirited but then there was cry from the son of the Princess and circumstances implicated the boy.  While comforting her son, Princess Morag was surprised to be pushed by the boy and despite her brief remonstration, he later pushed and tried to kick her. Not keen to enter into a major confrontation with his mother, Princess Morag did try to indicate his inappropriate actions to her, but she was not terribly interested and did not make effort to make amends in any way.  Princess Morag was quite taken aback that a child should be so disrespectful of an adult, but presumably he had never been educated in the general principles of acceptable social behaviour.

Princess Morag predicts a poor outcome for this boy who was so obviously seeking adult attention in any way he could get it, and despite all attempts only provoked a weak response from his mother.  Does she think that it is someone else's job to discipline him?  Is it the job of teachers or social workers or the police or the courts; sadly all of the above will probably try to make amends for her neglect but it will probably be too late.  He needs her to love him enough to tell him no, and mean it.  Should Princess Morag have told her so?  Is anyone else going to?  Princess Morag prays that someone will.  Princess Morag learned in her working world about being assertive - this means approaching confrontations with calmness, kindness and respect - always easier said than done, but she'll work on it some more.

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