Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Mine #OneWordCoffee

“But now, says the Lord, he who created you…who formed you: 
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; 
I have called you by name; you are mine.” 
Isaiah 43:1

Do you remember the seagulls in 'Finding Nemo'?  They squawk "mine, mine, mine" as they fight over the fish.  It is often among the first words of little children who don't like sharing.  They clutch their teddy or toy close to them and declare "mine".  Even grown ups are protective of their things, or maybe their memories or experiences that they want only to belong to them and are not for sharing.

What would you claim for yours alone?  What makes you want to say "mine"?

For me, it is my husband and children that invoke this feeling so strongly.  At first with my children, it was with wonderment....'these beautiful little beings are really mine?'  I get to keep them??  How awesome!  Later, it's knowing that so many outside forces and people want to influence my children for gain or have untrustworthy motives, I want to say no to all of that and keep them close, for they are mine.  It is for me and my husband to make decisions about what they see/hear/do and the outside world is callous to their souls.

When my husband and I were in our long distance dating period, I would hear about how he'd be spending time with some girl from work and I'd get jealous and say to myself, "that's not fair, she shouldn't be with you, you're mine".  And even more fiercely after we were married and separated for four months thanks to international immigration bureaucracy; I show up in our new town and miss out on some friendship with lovely ladies because they had been feeling sorry for this helpless wifeless man and all I could think was "Hands off - HE'S MINE!!"

The idea that my husband would cheat on me, actually makes me chuckle if I think of it in terms of him trying to hit on some other woman! But the idea that some woman might entice him, is a little more plausible and makes me get my claws out.

Thinking that God might feel fiercely protective of his relationship with me in this way is amazing and comforting and beautiful.

I struggle with the feeling of 'belonging'.  It has always eluded me and an emigre's life hardly helps! To know that God claims me as HIS and he doesn't stumble over my name but calls it clearly is the kind of homecoming I need.  I want to be HIS.  When I meditate on this word it pushes back the pain of neglect and rejection and gathers me close to love Himself.

I am my beloveds and He is mine.  (Songs of Solomon 6:3)

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1 comment:

  1. Visiting from Bonnie's today. Oh yes, what a beautiful thought that is. We are precious in His sight, so very precious. I'm so sorry you've struggled with belonging. I still at times do as well. I spent six years of my childhood in Germany as a Kiwi child and when we returned then also felt like I didn't belong. But God is moving into these feelings of rejection and healing the wounds that were inflicted by cruel words, actions and body language. He is powerful like that. A big step for me has been confessing that I believe this sting of rejection, even of Him, at times. In writing a confessional prayer, He took me back to my youth and made me cry for the grief caused: to face it head on,so He could move in to comfort me.

    Hugs from afar.