I tried to distract myself with grand ideas.
That used to work, when I believed they could come true.
And that's when I realised what was wrong.
I'd prayed all last year for one thing.
And then, wonderfully, He made it happen.
But I thought, that's it. There won't be anymore yeses after such a big one.
There won't be more for me.
Because...why?
I don't deserve it?
But that's always true.
He is a gracious God.
He is a generous God.
He loves to give good gifts to His children. Isn't that what the scripture says?
So will 2014 be bereft of anything good?
Unlikely, but still I struggled to believe.
And I was exhausted.
He carried me through the weekend.
And then today, suddenly, there is Hope.
After grief and despair.
I want to follow His footsteps.
I want to see them clearly.
I worry that I'll hesitate and then they will disappear from sight.
But Jesus didn't let Peter drown.
When he walked on the water.
"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him" (Matthew 14.31)
I want to hold your hand, Jesus.
I want to be reassured that you are there.
I want to look on your face and know I am loved.
I want to have faith.
Beautiful, Pricness Morag... Oh, I can feel this moment you're opening up for us... sared. real. #soulrest
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ReplyDeleteI love this, Princess Morag. So heartfelt and real. I feel the yearning tugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this transparent reflection of all our hearts longing. We long to fall and fear we won't be caught at times. We see Him holding others, we know He held us before, but what about THIS time? Have I used up all the requests I can? Will He be as good as I hope He is? I resonate so much.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a real fear that so many of us deal with. Am I worthy of God's goodness? I'm so thankful it isn't about that but it's often so hard to trust otherwise. This was captivating and heart capturing. Thanks for sharing!
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