Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Princess Morag was challenged today to describe herself in six words. And they came to mind surprisingly quickly: born again, a child of God. And those sweet words soothed her soul because they are true. Although Princess Morag has identified herself as a Christian for half her life, it has only been a year since the phrase 'born again' held any resonance for her. It means a new start, letting go of the hurts and hardship of the past and she is not yet used to the idea that her primary identity is that of child of God. Because if that is who she is, then she is undoubtedly loved and therefore lovable.
Friday, March 02, 2012
The soundtrack to Princess Morag's day consists mostly of the voices of her two small children - either making happy play noises, or whiny requests for mummy to get something for them. With the background noise of dishwasher, washing machine or tumble drier being in use. And since her birthday, Princess Morag is once again able to hear music and dance in the kitchen (it's the best room for dancing you know) because she has an i-pod dock/speaker thing that looks like a donut. Furthermore, yesterday Sir Rianus informed her that there IS a way to turn off the sound of his talk radio shows recording on the computer without turning the speakers off entirely - Hallelujah!
With everything going on Princess Morag is not really able to have a quiet quiet time, but she perseveres nonetheless. She has mostly been doing her bible study homework at the lunch table and despite interruptions and noise, she can hear God talking to her - not audibly but often straight to her heart. There is very little conversation to be heard in the Princess's day, except those slightly bewildering exchanges she has with her three and four-year-old children, but what can't be heard is the constant babbling going on in her head. You see, the inner critic residing in her brain thinks that the best plan of attack for this stay at home mother is to constantly criticise and spew negativity into her spirit so that she feels like she can no longer function in any aspect of her life :( Now do you understand why she perseveres with the attempt at a quiet time? How else can she counteract the attack from a bodiless, soundless enemy from within.
Freedom comes when Princess Morag is able to leave her dwelling place and go to the rehearsal hall. There she is released from her responsibilities and is free to sing and dance and celebrate life in the story of another - what joy. And the critic leaves her alone there because she is not thinking of herself, she is dreaming awake in the attempt to lead others in the same dream.